Shut Up, Eli Roth

http://www.amazon.com/Pieces-Christopher-George/dp/B001D5C1R6/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1224912248&sr=8-1

So, the movie Pieces is getting an official US DVD release on October 28, 2008, and according to Eli Roth, who you should never listen to or believe, this is a good thing.

The Amazon.com site has two editorial reviews and his reads:

"One of my top horror films of all time! Not only is this the ultimate chainsaw movie, it's the ultimate slasher film. It has everything you could possibly want, by the bucketful. Full on chainsaw violence, absurd amounts of nudity, and the greatest ending in horror history. A masterpiece of early 80's sleaze."


Shut up, hack. You don't know what you're talking about. That isn't the ultimate chainsaw movie. That title belongs to the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. That title would belong to the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre even if there hadn't been a chainsaw anywhere in the movie.

Pieces isn't even the ultimate crappy movie. It's just dreadful. One should only watch that movie in order to learn what not to do in order to make a good horror movie. It's stupid. The writing, dubbing, acting, story, and direction are all just one level above retarded so it doesn't surprise me that he would love it.

The product description has this warning : Due to its SHOCKING and VIOLENT subject matter, no one under 17 should view this film.

No, that should read "Due to its SHOCKINGLY terrible direction, dubbing, music, acting, script, and picture, no one with an IQ over 17 should view this film."

Yes, I burned myself there, but Pieces wasn't the first or last bad movie purchase I've ever made. I bought Cabin Fever for $10 a few years ago. Ouch. That still hurts, too.

Books to Get Again

I have these lists everywhere and I'm tired of the clutter so I'll use this to keep these titles in mind.

1. Shelf Expression
2. Grand Illusions -
3. Gospel of the Living Dead - (History and significance of the Romero zombie films)
4. Simple Gifts to Stitch
5. Bend the Rules Sewing (I should buy this one.)
6. Super Suite - Mark Montano (Great ideas for girls rooms)
7. Creative Metal Crafts
8. Jazzy Jeans
9. Re-Creative
10. Fanciful Paper Projects
10. Naughty Needles (I should buy this one, too.)
11. Embroidery - Karen Elder
12. Gourd Dolls and Spirit Figures
13. Dollar Store Decor
14. In Stitches - Amy Butler

ARGH!

I just found this wonderful layout on a blog which had a bunch of free layout samples, and I was supposed to give the nice woman credit for using her template, but I clicked the wrong window and lost her site.

CRUD!

I'm looking for you, designer girl.

I remembered my freaking password.

GO ME!

Eh, I'm lying. I tried to create a new account using this e-mail and it told me I already had an account.

I want to try reviewing movies or actually doing something productive with this, but I'll probably lose my brand spanking new password and forget about this until next year.

Hello Again

Here I am with what feels like my millionth blog. I'm hoping I actually pay attention to this one, though I don't expect to have many readers, if any at all. That can actually be a good thing. because you can be yourself when you don't think anyone is watching you.

So, I'll review a few movies, make a few ugly things, write about any funnies that come along, or just use this to rant against the world. Maybe all of those things at once.

Post #1 LIVES!